Hello everyone,

I often tell audiences that the first person you talk to every morning and the last person you talk to every night is... yourself.

Even if you have a partner. Even if you have children. Even if you say your prayers before bed.

Those conversations in your own head never really stop.

Which is why I wanted to dedicate this month's newsletter to self-talk.

Summer always feels like a good time to reset.
The days are longer, many of us spend more time outdoors, our routines loosen up a bit, and there's a little more optimism in the air. If we're going to refresh anything this season, why not refresh the way we speak to ourselves?

I'm not talking about that fluffy, "just think positive" kind of advice. I'm talking about getting an effective hold on that constant commentary running in the background of our minds. The criticism. The comparisons. The stories we repeat until we start believing they're facts.

Yesterday – as I write this - I was listening to an episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast featuring Dr. Ethan Kross, a psychologist and professor at the University of Michigan who studies emotion and self-talk.

I'll admit, I found parts of the interview very familiar. In fact, my own upcoming book, Amplify You, opens with a focus on those internal conversations we have with ourselves. But then I checked my inner voice saying, “Of course, Captain Obvious,” and kept listening. Just because I have also studied an area of research certainly doesn’t mean I have the depth this guy has.

When Your Brain Won't Let Something Go

And you won’t be surprised that when you keep an open mind, you might take away more than if you shut off. And Professor Kross shared a couple of nuggets that I’d like to relate for you (us) too.

He talked about rumination. You know the feeling. Like when you replay the awkward meeting. The email you wish you'd written differently. The conversation that happened three days ago that no one else remembers except you.

Round and round it goes.

One of the most effective ways to interrupt that cycle, according to his research, is something surprisingly simple: journaling. Writing your thoughts down helps move them out of your head and onto paper, where you can actually examine them instead of endlessly recycling them. The irony? His research also finds that it’s also one of the tools people are least likely to use because, frankly, it takes effort.

I used to journal almost every day. Somewhere along the way, I stopped.

So I'm making a commitment to start again.

Maybe you'd like to join me. Let me know and we can hold each other accountable.

Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Want to Help

Another idea I loved was using your own name when you're talking to yourself.

Instead of saying, "I can't do this," try saying, "Gina, you've handled harder things than this."

It sounds almost silly until you try it.

Research shows that speaking to yourself in the third person creates a little emotional distance. Instead of getting swallowed by the emotion, you become more like a coach than a critic. You should talk more to yourself the way you would a colleague or a friend.

Write It Down

Here's my challenge for this month.

Take five minutes and make a list of the things you regularly tell yourself.

"I'm terrible at networking."

"I always mess this up."

"I'm not leadership material."

"I'm too old."

"I'm too shy."

Then ask yourself one simple question.

Is that actually true?

Or is it something someone else once told you that you've been carrying around for years?

Now rewrite just one of those sentences.

Not into fantasy. Into possibility.

Instead of "I can't," try "I'm learning."

Instead of "I'm terrible at this," try "I'm getting better every time I practice."

Or maybe try saying it the way a trusted friend would.

"Gina, you've got this."

Because the first conversation you have every morning shapes every conversation that follows.

Make it one worth listening to.

So here's my question for you.

What will you commit to changing about your own self-talk this month? I'd genuinely love to hear from you, so hit reply and let me know.

And while you're at it, I'd be grateful if you'd click the link below to pre-order your copy of Amplify You: How to Power Up Your Connections in an AI World. I can't wait to share it with you.

My latest column in Ireland’s largest-circulation newspaper Irish Independent​

Thanks, everyone! And PS, please tell yourself you’re going to have a more intentional Summer.

Every kindness,

Gina